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Aug. 25th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

My blog has moved....

I've decided to move my blog to another provider firstly because, as my religious life has taken a new direction, I thought a new blog would be nice to start me on my way.  Secondly I'm quite limited as to what I can do technically with this provider.  I'm getting quite good at the techie stuff and actually quite enjoy it so am looking for a new challenge.

Here is the new address - I've also placed it in the 'Useful Stuff' links on the left below in case this one doesn't work for everyone.

           http://sharonxx.wordpress.com/  

See you on the new site guys - leave a comment and let me know what you think - oh and check out Ethan's new blog [link here and on new blog] - it's not finished at time of posting but I'll be working on it when I get the time.

Pax

Sharon xx

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Aug. 23rd, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Catholic calling and more....

My last entry was very deep and caused me to search both physically [books/literature] and emotionally within myself for the answer for 'why bad things happen to good people' and how I can ‘justify’ my faith within that framework? The book I borrowed from the library with that very title is inspiring and tells the moving experience of the author who, as a Rabbi and a father, has to deal with the premature death of his son Aaron from Progeria. He wrote the book partly for himself but mainly to help other people who suffer/ed from injustice through illness, misfortune, bereavement etc. but who still want to believe in God’s goodness and fairness. Interestingly he has written a passage that is very similar to the thoughts I put in my last posting….

“This had to be a book that would affirm life. It would have to say that no one ever promised us [Christians??] a life free from pain and disappointment. The most anyone promised us was that we would not be alone in our pain, and that we would be able to draw upon a source outside ourselves for the strength and courage we would need to survive life’s tragedies and life’s unfairness”

…..he puts it so much better than I did.

He also talks about our feelings of outrage, injustice and oppression – are these not from God?? Did He not plant a little of himself in all of us?? Just as those feelings of compassion, strength of character, unselfishness, courage, sympathy for others, are these also not from Him? I wonder if when someone dies prematurely like Suzanne’s son ‘S’ how much goodness/kindness could be found within his life and death if we actually listed it all down? How many people did he bless in his short life? How many people stepped up to comfort Suzanne and her family in those first painful days? How many small acts of kindness were born from their loss and how many lives were transformed by it? How many mothers went home and hugged their sons and gave thanks for their life on hearing of ‘S’s death?? Who knows but it’s worth considering isn’t it??

Our Rabbi concludes his book with these words……paraphrased by me……

“Are you capable of forgiving, accepting and loving a less than perfect world, the people around you who have hurt you and let you down, a God who disappointed you by allowing bad luck, sickness and cruelty in His world, and permitting some of those things to happen to you. Can you learn to love and forgive Him despite His limitations, as Job does...........if you can do these things, will you be able to recognise that the ability to forgive and the ability to love are the weapons [tools] God has given us to enable us to live fully, bravely, and meaningfully in this less-than-perfect world?”

         both excerpts taken from  "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Harold Kushner

Moving on…. I finally gave in as it were to my calling to Catholicism and made an appointment to see Fr James. My word, I was so nervous. I’ve read the books I’d borrowed from the library and the more I’ve learnt the greater my ‘need’ has become. It’s like a ‘coming home’! I think I’ve fought against this for such a long time on an almost subconscious level and it’s such a relief to admit that it’s something worth pursuing. Fr James was lovely [great sense of humour] – all I’d hoped and prayed for, very dignified but at the same time he just made everything alright in the space of an hour or so. He said he felt privileged to help me on what was obviously a profound journey into faith and agreed that further discernment was called for. He said he'd be happy to welcome me into the Catholic faith and he’s invited me to a course starting mid September at Christ the King ecumenical church which is exactly for people like me, who are interested in the Catholic faith but are a step ahead of say the Alpha course.  Apparently there'll be some Anglican's on the course too who are just up for finding out more about the faith generally.  I’m quite excited but finally it feels right. I shall also attend mass this Sunday [all being well] which will be lovely. So much of my journey has pointed to this end but as God knows sometimes He has to shout very loud to get my attention and as always His timing is perfect. I feel divinely nagged!! 

I’m still studying Job which on the back of what I’ve been talking about here today is still very relevant. It’s not an easy book to read but I have study notes to help. Job is being ‘comforted’ by his less than competent friends who just feel he should fess up as he’s obviously sinned in some great way that he’s not admitting to or repenting about. More to come……. 

Just to tie this all together I'm going to share a pertinent verse from one of my favourite worship songs, for me these are the words I cling to in my times of doubt and fear: -

No guilt in life no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

        taken from 'In Christ Alone' - Townend & Getty


Pax   

Sharon xx 




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Aug. 9th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Testing times.....

mood: distressed

I seem to be surrounded by people who feel that God is testing them or that He has deserted them. That bad things happen to good people and that God is to blame for this. People who are unable to pray, to [re] connect with Him or turn to Him for comfort in times of trouble or disaster.

I obviously do not have all the answers. I do not believe that God tests people in order to cause them misery or at least not without reason or purpose, the enemy has his part to play too. I think that we cannot know all the answers this side of heaven. I do not believe however, that being a Christian means that I am exempt from the trials and tribulations of life but I do feel better equipped to deal with these things as they arise. I feel that my faith and love of God are useful tools to protect myself from the harshness of a sometimes cruel world.  I also know that when things get tough I grow closer to God, I talk to him more and I draw on Him for succour and comfort. I cannot for the life of me understand why people move away from God in times of trial when surely that is the time to use ones' faith to it’s full potential.  I may still have to face 'bad things' but I sure have a great team on my side.

It is interesting that at the moment I am studying the story of Job in my devotional. So far Job [a good and righteous man with God] has lost all his cattle and farm stock, his children have all died and he has been struck down with some nasty skin disease – all the work of Satan but with God’s permission – hard to understand at this point. Job’s faith appears to be being tested. Will Job turn to God at this trying time or blame him? Will his faith stay intact as his life crumbles around him? His friends tell him to confess his sins but Job knows he has done nothing wrong and just wants to die to relieve his own suffering. I will let you know as I go on what happens but it’s pertinent to what is happening around me just now.

I also borrowed a book from the library today titled “When bad things happen to good people” by Harold S Kushner. I’ve not started it yet but you can see why I chose it.

Sad to say that one of Si’s colleagues lost her teenage son this week as the result of a bee sting of all things!! I’ve no idea what the finer details are but suffice to say that death from a bee sting would seem a little unfair for a young man on the verge of adult hood with his whole life to look forward to, not to mention the impact on his family. So, yet another reason to ask why to bad things happen to good people??

I also borrowed a couple of titles on Catholicism as an aid to further discernment along that path. I’ve emailed a couple of people in this regard who are already Catholics to ask for advice and their experiences. The call to that end increases daily – I can’t shake it off so I thought I’d read up about the beliefs and practices to see if what I think I know is a reality or just Chinese whispers or lies from the media who skew everything they send out.

There is more to follow as you can probably tell…

Deep stuff…

Pax

Sharon xx


Dear Lord, please place your loving arms around Suzanne and her family right now. Help her feel the peace of your love and to find solace and comfort in your Spirit. I pray for the soul of Simon and ask that you keep him safe until he can be reunited with those who love him. I ask this in Jesus' name - Amen. 
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Aug. 7th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Simon.....

mood: hungry
.... I found this photograph of Si hidden away amongst the Christmas photo's from last year when we were searching for some pictures to post on Ethan's new web site [long story] so I thought I'd share him.  Well, in the most ethical sense you understand.

I have to say that it's not a brilliant photograph cos he's desperately trying not to giggle - too much red I suspect judging by the glass in front of him but anyway, here he is...



my tall, dark, handsome Sir Galahad.....my knight!!!!

Will post again soon.

blessings

Sharon xx 
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Jesus is my saviour!!

Member Badge

Home Education UK Link



The above has been added for those interested in Home Education, I've also added it as a link if you look to the left of the page.  The site is comparatively new but has quickly become a great place for support, ideas and resources so do drop in and add to the numbers if this applies to you.  The other 'Sharon' mentioned in the post below is the lovely lady who has inspired and started this site I believe.  See - more Godincidences.......


Blessings

Sharon xx   
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Aug. 6th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Godincidences......

mood: moody
Today has been interesting inasmuch that yesterday Ethan and I went to a Christian Home Educators’ Fellowship meeting [MK CHEF] and found the whole experience rather overwhelming [everyone was lovely but it was just manic ] - too many children of varying ages not being supervised enough [by some mums] in too small an environment – I couldn’t have done any better though and after six children of my own you’d think I’d be bomb proof but I think old age has caught up with me. However, I met someone called Sharon [no, I do not have the monopoly on the name ‘Sharon’] and felt that we’d connected in some way so, as she and I beat a hasty retreat, I gave her my little contact card. She emailed me today and also gave me her blog link [also LJ – spooky] and surprisingly she seems to be living the type of life I’ve been yearning for. Putting God in the centre of everything she does and focussing on being a home maker, mother [home schooling] and wife. It’s almost like she was heaven sent as an example to me of what I should be aiming for and what I should be satisfied with. In her own words she says of herself “I'm a non-Jewish messianic believer” which, when I try to analyse exactly what that means my mind starts to implode but you’re very welcome to Google it as it gives a sensible meaning for something that I can’t put into words just yet. To help you out ‘messianic’ means of or from the Messiah [Jesus]. She is basically a Christian though which is something I can cling on to in my ignorance.

I’m never ceased to be amazed at how God puts people in my path at a time when I need them. I’m not sure how this all fits together but I’m sure time will tell. I’m looking forward to getting to know Sharon better.

Today has been very tiring as everyone being at home is starting to rob me of my ‘space’ which, as always, I’m just so bad at sharing. My routine is destroyed which, as a creature of habit [and the comfort found therein] means I’m starting to ‘fray’ a little at the edges. I know my faults but my word I’m not good at controlling them. I try to draw on God to guide me and give me the skills I need to at least appear gracious at this time.

On a good note Mike called tonight to tell me that he’s been put forward for the position of trainee manger of Farm Foods which is amazing considering his hours were cut two weeks ago to 13 per week and now here we are back up to virtually full-time again and with this promotion in the offing. The power of a praying mum lol!!!! He has put in some serious effort though and I think he’s proved himself so they’re keen to hold on to him. Well done Mike, so proud of you whether you get it or not xx.

No God space today - I really feel that I've failed Him on days like this.  So much time wasted on menial stuff that really doesn't matter.  Alot of people around me seem to be moving away from God [unwillingly I might add].  Many of them suffering 'dry' spells when God seems like a flame, flickering in the distance.  Other's feeling confused by the theology behine their faith, OT v's NT type stuff and asking deep questions about judgement day, how do we know this is the right religion and that sort of thing.  Very confusing for even the most learned of theologians.  I can sense their loss and frustration.

I'm hoping for a calmer day tomorrow both physically, spiritually and emotionally.  

May we all move closer to God in our daily lives.

blessings

Sharon xx     



 
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Posted at 09:29 pm | | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Jesus is my saviour!!

Smilies and emoticons.....

mood: silly
I've been trying to find a way to put emoticons or smilies in my postings and have been quite frustrated at not being able to so far.....however....wait for it.......I may have found a site that will let me so this is my test run.

Be patient.... 

 = group hug


 = violet





right well that will do for now....we'll see if they come out in the posting...

S xx     

          ps - they all seem to work great huh??  Excellent!!  Must get a life, must get a life, must get a life.........................
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Aug. 5th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Fireman Ethan....

mood: thankful

taken last week at a Home Ed coffee morning - just had to share this 'cos he's too cute.  Butter wouldn't melt eh??

Fireman Ethan

Do I love this little lad or do I REALLY love him.  Hmmmm - tough choice.....

Pax

Sharon xx

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Jesus is my saviour!!

Apologies for absence....

mood: contemplative
Have neglected my lovely blog for the last three weeks or so due to the busyness of the summer holidays. Reading back over my last post I was a grumpy mare it would seem   but suffice to say that Mike and I are back on ‘love you’ terms and his hours at work have been put back up to 30++ which is excellent and he’s doing a lot better financially and I'm alot less worried about him. 

The holidays have turned out to be a lot less stressful than I’d anticipated and in fact we’re all really enjoying spending this time together, so the 'thought' is quite obviously worse than the 'deed' which is so often the case.

I’ve had a few health worries [all pretty low key in the great scheme of things to be honest] and had some extensive blood work done which all came back absolutely fine, so a great relief. In fact, better than fine because my cholesterol was quite high at 5.4  just after Ethan was born [my mother tells me it’s an inherited thing from her side] but I’ve been exercising and eating well and it’s down to 4.7 which is very pleasing and just goes to show that I can do it if I try. My only pressing issue is that I’ve suffered from gastric reflux since being pregnant with Ethan which has never really righted itself so, having taken some prescribed meds to calm it down, my GP has decided to send me to the Gastric consultant with a view to an endoscopy. Now, those who know me well will know that I’d rather have my leg amputated without anaesthetic than have anyone going anywhere near my throat with [and expecting me to swallow] something resembling a snorkel . It is all my worst fears come true in one sitting. I’m gradually getting my head round the idea but it’s hitting all my ‘scary’ buttons . I’ll keep you posted.

Ethan is lovely!! Waking up far too early, 5 am for about 6 days on the trot [yawn, yawn] but back to between 6 and 7am now so feeling a bit more human again. He’s got a sudden passion for letters and knows about 12 or so, thanks to the Jolly Phonics books. He can do all the letter actions and can spot the letters on signposts and in books which is seriously impressive given his age. And that brings me to this coming Friday 08.08.08 when he’ll be THREE. Oh wow, my baby will be three!!! Where did all that time go to??? Will post photo’s of his birthday as soon as I upload them. He’s really enjoying the ‘Soccer for Tots’ on Wednesdays [part of MKhen] – he and Simon go together and it’s quite obvious that they both love it.

Faith – well this has been an interesting time. I continue to grow ever closer to God. Have not made church nearly as much as I’d like due to house viewings on Sunday mornings and also because Ethan often needs me just as I’m trying to leave making it impossible to go. However, I’m still praying and talking to God about what He wants me to do with my life and I’ve managed to work out that my vocation and my job [ earning money] will go hand in hand. I’ve also worked out that I actually morn the loss of my ability to become a nun – yes, sounds silly to some I’ve no doubt but I long for a vocational religious life. I never realised quite how much until I addressed the yearning inside of me. Well, I’ve managed to finally come to terms with the fact that it just ain’t happening [obviously] but that doesn’t mean that I can’t have a religious life or a vocation within my vocation as a parent. A lovely catholic nun pointed out to me that parenting is one of the hardest and most meaningful vocations one can do and I’ve been doing it for 25 years now. I seriously had to deal with this because I’d begun to resent being a parent and a ‘wife’ because I felt it was holding back my religious life and preventing me spending time with God. That is not a good place to be and may God forgive me when I am so truly blessed. Please don’t anyone think for one moment that I’d be without my Ethan but sometimes I just yearn for the opportunity to just be ‘me’ for a while. To be alone with my own thoughts, to talk to God uninterrupted and to worship him freely without the limits of time and responsibility.

I found this the other day: - 

There is no doubt
that you are called
God calls you
according to the unique person
you are made to be.

In fact, God calls you
to the very best place
and way of life for you.

It may not be the easiest place
in the world to be
or the simplest thing to do.

But it is where you will be
most at home
most at rest within yourself
and best able to serve Jesus Christ, 

This is taken from www.vocationquest.org 


This passage really spoke to me and made me ask some serious questions about where my vocation may lie. I also found a great passage in my Joanna Weaver book –‘ Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World’ that basically says that everything you do from washing a cup to making the bed can be done as a form of worship to God. “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.” Ecclesiastes 9:10 This has made me realise that I don’t need to be cloistered within a convent to lead a religious life. I can do it here in my own home and live out my love of the Lord daily, doing what I do best. See, God’s been real busy in my heart since I last posted lol.

I’m still discerning/researching Catholicism as I feel that God is calling me to this end but I cannot quite accept it as I’ve never really been ‘at one’ with Catholicism and in fact disagree with a lot of the teachings so I’m remaining open for now. I’m in the process of talking to a catholic friend about this to see if she can help me. I’m not rushing into anything as have remained pretty non-denominational since my calling. Tried worshipping at various churches Pentecostal Evangelists, Quakers, Anglican [which is where I’m happiest at the moment] but this Catholic thing won’t leave me alone so I’ll explore it and see where it takes me. As with everything I do I like to know everything there is to know before I make a decision. Also time [and prayer] will tell if it’s just a fad of mine or whether it’s really God asking me to take this step.

Well, it’s been a bit of a tome guys but that’s what comes of being lazy for a few weeks. Peace and blessings to you all…..

With love 

Sharon xx





 
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Jul. 17th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Taking time out.....

mood: discontent
Mike finally went back to Banbury on Tuesday having finally found a room to rent for £65 per week. Not bad on the face of it until he received a ‘phone call on Monday to say that Farm Foods have cut his hours to 13 per week – nice!! Unfortunately this means that he’ll be earning about £50 a week and it doesn’t take a mathematician to work out that he can’t now afford the room. I’ve told him that he needs to find something else jobwise quick sharp as I can’t afford to supplement him anymore now that he’s left college and my CTC and CB have been cut accordingly. To be quite honest I’m also all done with travelling over to Banbury for picking people up, dropping people back, going to job interviews and viewing potential rooms. I’ve had to say that if it doesn’t work out this time then that’s it – he’ll have to make a new life here in MK which is what he should have done from the start. I did warn him that he needed to save really hard while he was earning well, receiving my money and his EMA funding in order to be able to survive once the ‘real world’ hit after college but like a true 18 year old he didn’t so that’s why he’s in the mire now!!! I’m quite cross with him really which is probably obvious especially as neither he nor his girl friend did a hands turn for the whole time they were here. No washing, no emptying the dishwasher, no loading the dishwasher, nada, zilch, oh, except Mike vacuumed one morning after I nagged him. He told me that he was ‘on holiday’ and so needed to rest ready for his return to work – all 13 hours a week of it. It’s a tough life huh???

Right well, I feel better for that rant. This is why the post is headed ‘taking time-out’ because that’s what I’m doing for the remainder of this week before Millie and Si break up for the summer a week tomorrow. Then all routine once again goes right out the window and Ethan becomes a nightmare again. I’m dreading it which is a shame as it should be a nice family time but it never seems to be that way, more stressful than anything else.

We’ve managed to do some Home Schooling stuff – the lotto game I downloaded is really good. Ethan has got the hang of covering all the pictures on his board as the cards come up but hasn’t yet realised that it’s a competition to see who covers theirs first. No matter, life is far too full of competition for that to be a worry. We’re also going to the library once a fortnight and replenishing the stock of reading material so he’s got loads to look at and enjoy. He’s really into helping in the garden at the moment, helping Si plant, pick, mow, dig [especially that bit] and sweep. He’s such an outdoor boy.

Faith – well, I’m half way through my ‘Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World’ book and it’s brilliant. Very thought provoking and appropriate for my lifestyle with great insights into how to ‘fit’ time for God into every day without descending into emotional chaos which is what I tend to do. My book on Proverbs 31 is also here but I’m not even looking at that until the Mary/Martha one is finished or I get too confused. What with bible reading, inspirational reading and fun reading I’ll have Mma Ramotswe spending time at the feet of Jesus along side Mary in the front room of her house on Zebra Drive if I’m not careful. Am still researching Catholicism and, on speaking to my mum about her faith as a child, I discovered that she wasn’t born a Catholic and that she can actually remember her whole family converting when she was about 5 years old. You learn something new every day as I honestly thought she was a cradle catholic.  

Blessings to all..

Sharon xx 
 
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Jul. 11th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Total wash out.......

mood: tired
Okay so we need the rain but enough already!!! The mood of the house seems to be reflecting the weather and everyone is feeling a little bleak. No motivation, no energy and Millie and I have felt a little peaky to be quite honest. I’ve even had to resurrect the laundry airer to dry the wet clothes. Groan!!!

I finally lost a teen today as I took Mike’s girlfriend back home first thing this morning which has made a whole lot of difference to the ‘feel’ of the house. Not because she’s not a lovely girl but just down to numbers really. Ethan has been a lot calmer as a result. He really is a little boy of routine and doesn’t do well when it’s disrupted. This is always reflected in his behaviour. Ethan also thought that 5am would be a great time to wake up today which, on the face of it, would have been okay if I’d slept well from 10pm the night before but typically I hadn’t slept at all well. I think I saw every hour last night and finally got up at about 2am to take some pain relief for a headache but unfortunately it didn’t work. Luckily he fell asleep on the journey out to Banbury this morning and slept until we were nearly home again so he’s managed to catch up. I, on the other hand, haven’t had a wink all day so am running on low.

I am in the process of making myself a Prayer Basket. It’s just meant to be a basket with all the things in it that I need to spend time with God. So it’s going to have my bible, my Divine Hours prayer book, my prayer cross, my glasses, a candle in a glass jar keeper [easy to light and store], my religious journal and whatever inspirational book I’m reading which at the moment is ‘Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World’ by Joanne Weaver. It means that in theory I shouldn’t have to go searching for what I need when I do get the rare opportunity to get some peace and can seek God in that moment.

I am looking into taking a distance learning [correspondence] proof reading course in an effort to find some work that will fit around Ethan. It will mean that I could [once qualified] work from home on a freelance basis. The courses aren’t cheap so I’ve emailed a few publishing houses in the hope that someone will be kind enough to tell me what they look for in a proof reader qualification wise but so far no one has answered my query so I may have drawn a blank. It’s a minefield out there with quite a few courses on offer, all at various prices, and all covering quite different aspects of proof reading. I shall wait a bit longer and see what next week brings. The money is quite good but as to how easy it would be to secure work well that is another matter.

That’s me I think. This has felt like a very surreal week and I’ve been in a strange mood as a result – quite ‘removed’ in some ways. I hope next week feels a bit more normal and also that we see a bit of sunshine so I can hang my washing and get the rabbits out on the grass.

Peace and blessings to all who read and I know now that there are quite a few of you which is just lovely. 

Sharon xx


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Posted at 10:19 pm | | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Jul. 8th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Could have been worse.....

Due to the house being full of teens today poor Ethan was bouncin’ off the walls and could settle to nothing. As he was actively seeking trouble I decided to try and spend some time distracting him with a few crafty and imaginative play activities and we ended up having some really good fun. First of all we made straw puppets with some great downloads off Enchanted Learning.com [a great site that I pay £10 a year for but worth every penny]. We made a butterfly, a star and a cat. Then we made up some stories with those characters who soon became Clarence the Cat, Bertie the Butterfly and Sally the Star – who said I had no imagination??

Once the novelty of those had worn off it was lunch time so we decided to have our lunch as a picnic on the lounge carpet. We got a rug out, some cushions to sit on and off we went. We pretended we were by a river where there were swans, ducks, fish and according to Ethan some dolphins [oh really]. So there we sat with our sarnies, crisps, yoghurts and cake watching all these animals and sharing our food with Ethan’s Tay who had his own little dinner too on a tea party plate – Tay’s food soon vanished but I think a small boy was responsible for that.

What could have been a nightmare day turned into quite a fun one in the end – I am knackered tho’ and could have done with a sleep this afternoon but it was lovely to see him pretending and using his imagination.

I’ve also downloaded a game of picture lotto with game boards, picture cards etc. I just need to finish cutting them out and make some counters to cover the pictures on the boards and we’ll be giving that a go too. Good ol’ Enchanted Learning – fab site!!!   It saved the day....

hugs

Sharon xx [who's off to bed exhausted]
 
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Jul. 7th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Third anniversary.......

mood: sad
The weather today has been miserable and as a result so has Ethan. Really grumpy and listless all day – not a lot of sunshine, dark, cloudy, stormy at times and enough rain to keep us inside all of the day. He just couldn’t settle to anything poor little lad. A lot of the things we had planned this week have been cancelled for one reason or another so it’s looking like a quiet week. I’m going to have to get my inventive head on to keep him focussed and busy I think. 

Mike is home today from college.  He's grown again and is becoming very dark featured.  Dark hair, skin, eyebrows - changing by the minute as he matures.  I've missed that cheeky smile.

One of the sites I belong to is running a ‘blog roll’ thread where we all post our blog links so we can share experiences and ‘spy’ a little into each others’ lives. It’s a great idea and it makes writing this even more meaningful. A lot of us also Home School which means we get to share ideas without even realising it. Lovely!!!

I have succumbed and ordered the book on Proverbs 31 that I spoke of in my last posting – I’m just so weak where books are concerned, sigh!! Give me a book over a handbag any day of the week. Amazon was invented for women just like me with the desire to read anything and everything but not a lot of spare cash to buy the hardware to do it with lol.

I discovered an infidelity among some of my friends/acquaintances today. To be totally honest I was angry. It doesn’t affect me directly but the lying, deceit and consequential hurt that has been caused [little ones are involved too] has angered me to the point where I’ve had to cancel a ‘visit’ arranged for this week with one of the ‘offenders’. I cancelled because I don’t want to appear judgemental and I’m not sure right now if I can keep my mouth closed. It’s a real 'What Would Jesus Do' moment!! Jesus would forgive and still visit. He would use the situation to bring people closer to God. He would shine a light down the path of righteousness, making himself a signpost for God!! How wanting I’m found in comparison. It is not my place to judge, that is down to God. However, I also don’t want to appear to be supporting/enabling this inappropriate choice making it impossible for the ‘betrayed’ party to approach me for help. And to be quite honest I just don’t want to get involved – it leaves a bad taste in my mouth but no souls were won by not wanting to enter the fight. It brings me down to my base line philosophy of ‘if in doubt, do nothing’. So here I sit, doing nothing................

I realise when I hear about this kind of thing how far I’ve actually come in my faith. How ‘sorted’ my life is now and how peaceful in comparison to the chaos that is the life of the female offender. Her life is so manic that it made my head spin just hearing her talking about it last week. I am not complacent about my present state of tranquillity, nor am I resting on my laurels but as I heard her talking I suddenly recognised myself a few years ago. A life that was full of uncertainty, confusion, unhappiness and poor choices. How different things are now. I don’t want to appear proud but it’s very comforting to know that I’m on the right path finally. Sometimes life still feels such a mess but in truth it’s so not anymore even tho’ I still have a long way to go.

Today is the 3rd anniversary of the London bombings - 7/7/05. I’ve just watched a programme [Dispatches] highlighting the plight/struggle of Muslims in this country as a consequence of that day. How a lot of Muslim women have had to stop wearing the veil as it was seen as a sign of support for this atrocity. How few British people are actually friends with a Muslim. As Si said British people have very few friends anyway – I don’t personally think we’re a particularly friendly nation to anyone outside our comfort zone. Probably because we’re all a lot more mobile nowadays, moving more often and leaving original [school] friendship groups behind and just maintaining contact with those old close friends and family members. New style housing does not make it easy to make new friends nor do the busy lives we all lead now. Nor does that element of fear and suspicion that events like that day sew into all our hearts no matter how open minded we try to be. You can never quite remove the human element. How sad tho’ that these people are being compromised in the way they’re able to practice their religion. Are the British afraid or just intolerant?? A bit of both I suspect with a dab of ignorance thrown in. How typical for the actions of a tiny minority to ‘spoil’ things for the greater majority – so many times in life I’ve seen that happen on both a small and large scale.

Well my bed awaits as it’s 11pm now. Hugs to all and a big ‘hi’ to any new readers. Do leave a comment if you want to, I’d love to actually get some lol.

Peace and blessings for all those families affected by the events of three years ago. May your God be with you.

Sharon xx 
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Jul. 5th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Busy week....

mood: okay
We have been very busy here this week. Ethan and I have visited, lunched out, played, shopped, entertained and that’s just the social stuff. We’ve also been quite productive on the Home Schooling front with a great picture of the letter ‘Aa’ which we coloured and cut out a capital and lowercase ‘Aa’ and then with his favourite glue stick we stuck it onto a large sheet of paper and cut out various magazines pictures of anything we could find beginning with that ‘Aa’ [there’s not a lot of things tbh – you have a think ‘cos I struggled]. Ethan also found his Oxford Reading Tree books that I bought for a song from Red House. I wasn’t going to use them yet as thought he was too young but he asked me to read them as stories for story time after lunch one day and as usual asked for them repeatedly and after only two or three repetitions he could tell me the story just by using the pictures. Amazing and totally self-led which is what I’m aiming for. I’ve since discovered that he can do that with lots of his favourite stories. This is just a step away from reading and is a great memory test. I also caught him repeating the letters/sounds/words off ‘Fun with Phonics’ the other morning and he shouted at me to come see the letter ‘s’ which is one of the six we’ve ‘learnt’ [I use that term loosely] along with a,t, i, p, and n. He could find them easily among the words on the screen. I am ever amazed at how much he picks up just through play, crafts and story reading. He’s a little sponge!!

I’ve managed to book Ethan on to a ‘Soccer for Tot’s’ course over the summer. It’s been arranged via one of the mum’s from MKhen and as there were only eight places available I was chuffed to hear that he’d been given one so we’re looking forward to that and Si can take him ‘cos it’s run over the summer holidays. Great!!!!

I am using my Divine Hours prayer book which arrived last week and gives seven offices for each day. It’s also known as 'praying the hours' as it gives fixed hour prayers and is great for those who love liturgy [form of public worship, particularly the form of rite or services prescribed by the various Christian churches] and want to practise a little bit of that at home. I think my love of liturgy stems from my time at St. Mary's convent.  I miss that so much!!!  Praying the Hours makes me very much more likely to find time to pray but I think I need to personalise it a bit. I’m sure that will come with time and confidence. I rarely manage all seven offices as the 3am one tends to get missed [funny that] but I can usually do five to six and I’m surprised I’ve managed those to be quite honest.

I am still on my quest to study Proverbs 31 and notice that there are quite a few books about it – one being ‘Discover the Treasures
of a Godly Woman: Proverbs 31’ [A Woman After God’s Own Heart] by Elizabeth George.

     Here it is!!!

She has also written various other titles under the anthology heading ‘A Woman After God’s Own Heart which may be worth a look but I’ll see what Proverbs 31 is like first.

This week has been full of sadness in the public arena with various stabbings of young people in and around London. All tragic losses of life!! I was also physically nauseated by the report on Radio 4 yesterday relating the gruesome murder of the two young French students who were bound, gagged and stabbed hundreds of times. This kind of thing makes me embarrassed to be British and paranoid about my children and their safety. I found myself locking the back door yesterday ‘just in case’ which when you consider we own the biggest golden retriever in the world it’s kind of ridiculous but I always think it’s gonna happen to me or mine.

Millie has bought home a ‘virtual baby’ for the weekend as part of her Health and Social course work. It apparently had her up three or four times in the night but I never heard a thing. What a turnaround that is eh??? It’s usually me walking the boards at ridiculously early hours with a baby, makes a change for my baby to be getting a taste of my life lol.

Well, it’s Saturday here so Ethan is with Dave which leaves me with some ‘me’ time on my hands so we’re off for a pub lunch somewhere which sounds just lovely to me.

Love and peace to you all – please feel free to add any prayer requests [anonymously is fine] to my comments section at the bottom and I’ll be sure to pray for you.

Sharon xx 






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Jun. 30th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

New blog layout nearly complete!!!

Well as you can all see I’ve changed my blog beyond all recognition. Apart from changing the colour of the text in the archive pages it’s just about finished.  I've taken my photo' off and put one on of someone far more famous.   I’ve really enjoyed it actually and have stolen all sorts of ideas from various sources/blogs and had a bit of a baptism of fire regarding how to use the interface but not made too many faux pas so must be getting better at this IT stuff.

Ethan is still getting better. We have spent a quiet day ‘doing’ ASDA and watching TV which he really enjoyed surprisingly. However, he seemed a bit restless this evening and I ended up giving him some paracetamol in the end. It could be the heat as it’s quite hot in his little room despite the fan etc. Praying for a quiet night!!

Mike is coming home sometime this week or next week so it’ll be nice to see him despite the fact that my routine goes right out the window and Ethan’s behaviour with it for some reason. Ethan’s a bit like me in the fact that he’s a creature of routine and has a personality transplant if it’s disrupted even slightly.

I’m just off to study Proverbs 31 and catch up on a bit of bible study. I’ve been very remiss over the last few days with Ethan being poorly. I am considering starting a more rigid routine and using some liturgy to format my day around. I need some discipline in my faith to keep me on the straight and narrow so I’ve ordered a book called the ‘Divine Hours’ by Phyllis Tickle [great name huh???] to see how I fair with that.

Am researching Catholicism as well at the moment as I suppose, if we’re being brutally honest, that would be the religion I was born to as my mother was born and raised a Catholic but had such a bad experience of it [due to it being twisted and abused] that she’s been put off religion for the rest of her life I think. I’m interested to find out what’s it’s all about and what attracts people to it as converts rather than by birth or culture.

Love and blessings to all who know me and ‘hi’ to any new readers.

Sharon xx 
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Jun. 28th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Engagement party.....

mood: optimistic

Spent the afternoon at Sarah and John’s house [B/SIL] celebrating their engagement which was lovely. This was my first ‘public’ engagement with Si’s family since he and I almost came to an end over a trust issue relating to an email he sent to them which painted me in a less than favourable light. This is not something I’ve posted about on here as it’s too personal in all honesty and at the time I was so angry and hurt I’d have only written things I’d have later regretted. Suffice to say that I’ve since had my say to his family and altho’ I can understand why he did it I cannot excuse such a breech of trust. It breaks the golden rule of never dissing your partner behind their back cos it’ll always come back to get you – defend them to the hilt and keep all dirty laundry at home. However, we are moving on from that now into a more harmonious and trusting time – we are both working hard to undo the damage and so far it’s going great.

So, you can understand my trepidation at being amongst those I laid it on the line to [albeit in writing] but as part of my gripe was at their total ambivalence towards me and more importantly my children I felt it would be churlish and hypocritical not to put on a brave face and go. I had a nice time, the food was great, the company was lovely and apart from feeling rather stressed by it all I otherwise had a nice time. Millie came as well which gave me some courage and Si was as good as his word and never left my side. I still love him so much!!!

Ethan had a great time with Dave today so didn't join us at Sarah's.  He went swimming, visited Grandma, fed the ducks and all the usual things that they do together including ice creams at McD’s – he loves ice cream of all types.  Apparently he ate a cheeseburger which on the face of it seems like junk food but for a lad who's a self imposed vegetarian it's nothing short of a miracle.

Faith seems to have taken a bit of a back seat since Ethan was so poorly – time is always at a premium here and when he’s that ill it has the knock on effect of making me tired due to lack of sleep and worry and means that any spare time is used to the max to achieve even the simplest of tasks that can’t otherwise be attended to when he needs me. So I’ve some catching up to do with the Big Guy but He knows what’s in my heart.

Am trying to lose at least half a stone at the moment. I know I can do it if I am just a bit strong willed about what I eat. I’m not exactly idle as I’m on my feet all day long but I suppose it’s not aerobic exercise and I do tend to have a biccy here and a cuppa there when I should stick to my two meals a day and no snacks in between with plenty of water. It’s worked before so no reason why it shouldn’t now but we’ll see what a couple of weeks brings.

Right well that’s me I think – just got Ethan into bed so am off to do some reading and have some planning to do for homeschooling next week. We’re looking at the life cycle of a butterfly and doing a picture poster about the letter ‘Aa’ – well as much as he can at nearly three years old. We also have various friends to visit and some who are visiting us next week so all in all a busy week planned. We tried the same last week but illness caused us to cancel nearly everything so here’s hoping that we’ll be able to fulfil our appointments – oh the busy social life of the homeschooling family.

Shalom

Sharon xx
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Jun. 27th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Don't panic....

mood: artistic
........ no, you haven't arrived at the wrong blog, I've just changed the 'Theme' and layout.  See look  - there's the blonde, fluffy girlie still smirking away at you from up there in the corner.  Remember me???!!!

Oh and by the way Kai got three 2nd's at his first show which for a cat of the 'old' type is nothing short of a miracle apparently.  For those of you who haven't seen him yet here's a piccy of him when he arrived here [yes, I've managed to master the art of posting a photo on my blog]. 


And here's another of him looking a bit more regal.......



and one of him playing behind Si's rather large foot [watch out, an accident can only be just around the corner].



Well, it's a bit late so I shall leave the rest of my blog overhaul for another time.  Home schooling going great guns btw.  Ethan's loving it.  Doing lots of play mornings and making friends with other HSing mums.  Social calendar going nuts, some weeks we're out every day.  Just booked him into a 'Soccer for Tot's' course in the summer.  He's been really poorly this week with some nasty virus that had his temperature up to 40 C and resulted in a trip to the hospital in an effort to get it down late Monday night.  He was actually 'fitting' in my arms and semi-conscience at one point.  Scary stuff!!!  The nurse was brilliant and altho' it took a while we got there in the end.

Oh and we also took him to see 'Lazy Town Live' at the beginning of the month [5th] and to say that it was brilliant is an understatement.  I didn't know whether to watch the stage or Ethan who was transfixed to the seat in total rapture at what he was seeing.  His hero Sportacus right there in front of his very eyes.  Not many days like that one in a lifetime.  Absolutely fantastic!!!

Good news on the house front is that even tho' it's not sold [groan] Si's ex has said that she's prepared to wait it out until it's sold, so no court/legal hassles, no auction at a fraction of the price and best of all NO STRESS!!!!!

Nighty, night!!

blessings

Sharon xx

 
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Jun. 18th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Last night ...

location: among friends
mood: energetic
……..I met an amazing couple of people – Julie and Simon – who very kindly came to Open House and shared their testimony with us. I particularly identified with Julie, not just because she’s a woman but because when she spoke it was like listening to myself. Her calling, her past and her obvious passion for the Lord was just a mirror image of me [historically] and what I feel today. I have to say that she is far braver than I because she is more ‘out there’ than I have dared to be. Unless I am among like minded people or people who are obviously searching/questioning and give me a huge hint or window of opportunity then I tend to hold back whereas Julie quite obviously doesn’t. I was so inspired by her and her story, I felt comforted to realise that I’m not as weird as I thought I was. I was beginning to wonder if in fact I was the only person who felt so strongly about my faith that I’d be willing to do anything to make it part of my life 24/7. I, like Julie, would quite happily waffle on interminably about faith, Jesus and the like to anyone who would listen except I’d probably have even less friends than I have now. My fear has always been that I have very little to offer as such a new Christian with very limited theological experience. However, my life has not been in vain, God chose me for a reason and I hope that my experiences can lead me to help others but now, with the benefit of my faith, in a more Christ like way.

It was also very interesting to hear Julie talk about her ‘purpose’ and initially how impatient/enthusiastic she’d been to discover what that was but soon realised [like I have too] that it’s about a journey in God’s time. It was years before that purpose was revealed to her [Healing Ministry]. It’s also about being happy with who you are today and where you’re at now before you can be ready to move on into God’s future for you. If you’re not at peace with the status quo then God will not move you on to the next stage for you to just be equally unhappy with that too. I have realised that I am heading in the right direction, dumping some baggage, growing closer to Jesus and developing as a Christian on an almost hourly basis. As Julie said, it’s hard work.

I have bought a couple of people to faith this last year but both of those were open to it and God had certainly prepared them making my part quite easy really. Fruit, ripe for the picking in the nicest possible way!! I also try to bless someone every day even if it’s only in a tiny way.

I thought it sad that Julie had no immediate family to share her faith with other than her husband. I realise how lucky I am that my parents/partner/friends/children have been very supportive [tolerant] of my huge change in outlook and lifestyle but then after the turbulent life I’d led before I suspect anything would have been an improvement.

All in all a great evening full of love, inspiration, hope, good friends and great discussion. I stayed late and chatted with those left behind and find myself becoming more a part of the group and am pleased to realise that I do have something valuable to offer.  I hope to meet Julie again one day on a more one-to-one basis.

Peace and love 

Sharon xx
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Jun. 15th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Today's Message...........

mood: high
Went to the 10.30am family service this morning [All Saints] and enjoyed the message even though I still find it difficult to concentrate with the children all being there. I’m not sure why I find these services so unsatisfying but it probably says far more about me than it does about the service or children tbh.

The message [Matthew 9:35 – 10…] was about being disciples of Christ spreading the Good News as we journey on and the contemporary comparison used was the TV show ‘The Apprentice’ as the contestants of that are, in a way, disciples of Mr Alan Sugar but there was a link drawn between the financial wages that the winner ‘Lee’ will receive for his efforts and the wages that we as disciples of Christ will receive. We decided that Lee probably felt pressurised on winning to maintain the standard set and prove himself with little peace of mind to be had for the foreseeable future. A daunting prospect.

Being a disciple of Christ is no less daunting as a responsibility but once we receive [and understand] God’s grace through faith then peace of mind can soon follow as we live out our daily lives in the shadow of the cross. As we live/walk constantly in the footsteps of the first disciples in an effort to be examples of Christ’s’ teaching He is with us, working through our prayers and in us with the Holy Spirit guiding our steps, thoughts and words each day. To be open to Christ is to become his tool of evangelism in small but significant ways. My dream is to walk in his ‘like’ all day every day.  My ‘wages’ may not be so tangible as Lee’s but in the long term my peace of mind, joy, hope and salvation [all given through the grace of God] far exceed anything money can buy. Faith means that we still give our lives to God even knowing that these ‘wages’ are guaranteed through the shedding of the Jesus’ blood – to sit back in complacency avoiding the promptings placed on our hearts would be to ignore our faith and take God’s grace for granted. 

For now however, to be loved by God whilst beginning to realise who I am in Christ is a reward like no other.  

Blessings

Sharon xx 
 
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Jun. 14th, 2008

Jesus is my saviour!!

Full-time faith.....

mood: peaceful
I think that for a while at least I will use this blog purely as a means to record the journey of my faith as suddenly it has become the total focus of my life. The fog of confusion that I’ve had in my head for so many months is starting to lift and the way ahead is becoming clearer. I can also see better how I should be behaving/learning/following Christ as I travel that road. I still yearn for an obvious purpose but the words ‘Enjoying where you’re at on the way to where you’re going’ suddenly mean a lot more. Not only enjoying but growing and sharing with others en route. Back to being a perpetual signpost for God!!!

There are times when it’s handy to record family issues on here but for the moment it’s somewhere that I can be totally selfish and focussed on my faith and where I’m at with that. No matter how far down this road I go I still yearn to live within my faith 24/7. If I’d been free of responsibility there is almost no doubt that I’ve have taken the veil by now or at the very least joined a Christian community where I could give my life to Christ and serve others within a framework of perpetual devotion and worship. That would seriously float my boat.

I look at the world now as a place full of materialism, discontent, consumerism, judgementalism, misguidance and immorality. These things are not always from an evil intent or an overwhelming perspective but for the most part people just don’t seem to care very much about others anymore or about the beautiful planet that we are so privileged to inhabit. It's all become a bit 'Me, me, me, self, self, self.  The deeper I go into my faith the more I see people through the eyes of Christ and the bigger the step back I take so giving me a far better ‘bigger picture’ view. Its’ amazing just how far I’ve come and how removed I feel from society at large. As the saying goes I’m here in the world but I’m not of this world.

I’m taking a four week course at the Holding Forth Christian Centre at the moment and it’s quite good but the best bit is being with like minded people for a couple of hours a week. Looking round and realising that we’re all there for the same reason and we’re all on the same journey if via different routes. Some of the people from Open House also go which means we get to spend some time together under different circumstances which gives me more of an insight into who they are and what makes them tick. 

Well that's me I think [I always say that and then spend another ten minutes or so editing and adding stuff lol].  So praying for you all whether you like it or not.  

peace and blessings

Sharon xx 
 
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